Saturday, December 22, 2007

the restart: like a nintendo entertainment system (1985)

blow on it. blow a little softer and a little warmer. click the game in right along the edge. push it softly. it should start now. did it work? try again. make sure the edge of the game fits just inside of the tray. let it catch on the way down. that always works. did it? try blowing again. a little softer this time. keep trying. it'll work eventually. you just gotta be patient. it's frustrating, you know? but keep at it. time spent with mario will be worth it.

"why not? what's a year or two or even three more? two-thousand-three will be here before you know it."

"yeah, but that's so far away. two-thousand-three?! i'll turn tweny-three just after graduation. i can't even fathom three more years. that's a....lifetime."


the game was a breeze until sometime in the middle of world three. that last ship and the koopa at the end was absolute murder. it was tough to get at him even with a p-wing. a p-wing! with those things you're practically invincible.

"pittsburgh?! why would you wanna move here? it's a tough market here. i'll give ya as much work as i can, but pittsburgh? i don't know why you'd wanna come here."

"well, it's a long story, but i'll appreciate the work. thanks for your time."

it's impossible to beat this game, you know? been playing it since, what?, '91 and we've never beaten it. the japanese made these games just too damn hard. what were they thinking? they just never realized we were no where near as smart as them, i suppose. it's my favorite nintendo game there is, but, even still, it goes off after about an hour. that might get you thru the sand world. maybe. if you're fast and don't warp at all. those little beetles at the end are really annoying and so are the ghosts.

"wanna play tetris?"

"i once made over two-hundred lines."

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